So I just made Andrew sit through one of my favorite romcoms and now, it's ruined for me for life. Watching it with someone in 2017, who has never seen it before, was probably the worst mistake I've ever made. We weren't even 10 minutes in before I asked Andrew what he was thinking about it so far and he quickly responded with "these people are awful". After I laughed for a few seconds at his quick response, I thought for a second. I was just about to explain to him how they weren't awful at all but... I couldn't. He was 100% right. I had never noticed it before because I guess I love a good romantic ending and who cares how much lying is going on by the main characters as long as there is a big, wet kiss right before the credits role? Which is exactly how "You've Got Mail" ends.
After months (in "movie" time) worth of lying, omitting, and acts of infidelity toward their partners, the lead actor and the lead actress run off into the sunset. Now, I've seen this movie 50 times and before tonight, each time it got better and better. But now, I realize if this same movie were to be shot today, it would include tinder or snap chat to allow people the opportunity to see if the grass might be greener on the other side.
After months (in "movie" time) worth of lying, omitting, and acts of infidelity toward their partners, the lead actor and the lead actress run off into the sunset. Now, I've seen this movie 50 times and before tonight, each time it got better and better. But now, I realize if this same movie were to be shot today, it would include tinder or snap chat to allow people the opportunity to see if the grass might be greener on the other side.
If you've never seen the movie, it's set in the late 90's when the internet and emails was a newer idea for the masses. Two people, clearly unhappy and unfulfilled in their relationships, venture into a chat room and innocently begin a conversation... for months, without knowing who the other one is. After two hours of dramatic irony and one million little lies, the two wind up together and live happily ever after on the Upper West Side with their golden retrieve. They also have a pretty damn good "how did you guys first meet?" story, right? At least that's what I thought until it became clear just now that this movie is kind of the worst! Or at least what its message is.
You watch these two people, from the very opening scene, become practically giddy when their SO's leave the apartment for the day. They both jump out of bed and at the chance to grab their laptop, check their messages, and smile ear to ear to chat back and forth with each other. This. Is. Terrible. It's not even slightly different from waiting until your boyfriend is out of the room to swipe left and right on your secret tinder account or check your snapchat messages for anything exceptionally juicy.
You can send messages back and forth and delete them with ease and as soon as you hear those steps coming down the hallway, you can throw your cell phone under the bed (if you've seen this movie... Do you remember the scene where she's writing her email to dude and then she hears her boyfriend walking in? and she immediately slams her laptop shut and then asks her boyfriend for a huge favor!? I mean come onnnn, Kathleen. I would love to think that these types of behavior have gotten better in the world of dating, but let's get real. Hell, I would argue that they are worse. People become bored or mad or unfulfilled in their relationships and instead of doing the noble thing- being honest and leaving your damn boyfriend the right way- they creep around in the dark corners of the internet looking for gratification from someone else.
You can send messages back and forth and delete them with ease and as soon as you hear those steps coming down the hallway, you can throw your cell phone under the bed (if you've seen this movie... Do you remember the scene where she's writing her email to dude and then she hears her boyfriend walking in? and she immediately slams her laptop shut and then asks her boyfriend for a huge favor!? I mean come onnnn, Kathleen. I would love to think that these types of behavior have gotten better in the world of dating, but let's get real. Hell, I would argue that they are worse. People become bored or mad or unfulfilled in their relationships and instead of doing the noble thing- being honest and leaving your damn boyfriend the right way- they creep around in the dark corners of the internet looking for gratification from someone else.
I have no resolution to writing story lines like this (from 20 years ago. sheesh. How much worse could it get 20 years from now?) hell, this isn't a problem that I have anymore. But after watching it with someone's new eyes, it has kind of left a terrible taste in my mouth of what we've been taught or wired to think is acceptable. This movie just kind of advocates things like dipping your toe into the unknown, omitting information to your partner and being disloyal but it's ok, because in the end, they fall in love!
Nope. Nope. Nope.
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