how to keep your pregnant wife happy: advise from my husband.

*this cute little video seemed kind of relatable, although Andrew didn't need to take a breather on a doctor's table once we found out about our twin surprise. That guy has been a champ from the get go and I couldn't ask for a better partner. And now that he's a bloggin' husband, it only seemed appropriate for him to write up his own post on a subject he has become quite familiar with the past several weeks- how to keep me from bursting into flames or tears.*

My First Blog!
Some of you may know me from previous posts on, others may just now be getting your first introduction to me. So, hello! I’m Andrew, I’m a Virgo and I enjoy half a pack of sweet and low in my Iced tea. 
It has been an exciting 7 and half(ish) weeks since learning that we were expecting a baby! Even more exciting in the past 4 and a half(ish) weeks since we learned that we were expecting two babies!  (2 babies) 
As I’m sure there is with every pregnancy, there has been some highs and some lows.  As a man, I can’t even begin to imagine everything that is happening within the body and mind as two humans grow inside of you, so I have been doing my best to be there for Jamie and help with everything I can.  So for any expected moms out there that have a boyfriend/husband/baby daddy that may need some insight, I thought I’d list out some of the things I’ve been doing. Some of these tips & hints may sound medically related, please don’t consider any of this actual medical advice, I didn’t attend any form of Med School (Although I have watched the first few seasons of House, many times)

Be there for all the appointments
- Going to the doctor’s office can be stressful, emotionally draining, and scary.  There isn’t really anything that the doctors need you for, but your presence there can help your SO more than you probably think
 Think about what’s for dinner/lunch/breakfast
- Not only is your SO not going to want to cook, they are going to hate things they used to love and love things they had never thought about eating before. Pay attention to the things that seems to go along with their appetite and plan the meals you cook around that (also, take it easy on seasonings and extremely aromatic foods)
Keep her drinking water
- If she is growing a baby, then that is pushing on her bladder, she is peeing (a lot – don’t tell her that though)  Water is a key component in the body, she needs it, the baby needs it. Make sure you are staying on them about always having water with them. 
Do what she asks
- Don’t be a dickhead. The roller coaster of emotion going on in her life is possibly going to make things seem strange to you. Just go with it. If she wants to put her cold feet on you, just let her. If she wants to eat Dorito and pickle sandwiches for dinner,  you make a plate of pickle and Dorito sandwiches for dinner. 
Be there to listen and have patience. 
-  There are going to be a lot of thoughts, fears, emotions and they are going to come and go as quick as they can. Be the reassuring voice for her. Let her vent her thoughts, and then help her think them through. Be patient, especially if this is a first pregnancy, no one knows what they are doing. No question is stupid, do your best to give the best answer you can to it.
Take over the cleaning duties
-  If your house is like ours, it stays pretty squeaky clean 99.7% of the time. All of that credit is to my wife. She does a great job of sweeping/mopping/dusting/etc…Guess what is more important now, growing babies. A clean house is a calm house. Don’t be a slob and expect your wife to continue to keep up with house cleaning as she did prior to the pregnancy.
Love her.
- Duh. Tell her she’s beautiful. Give her a good hug for no reason. Just let her know that you are there for her, without having to say it.

Okay – Whew.  First Blog complete.  I’d like to thank everyone that made this possible. My agent, my baby mama, and most notably Baby A and Baby B. If everyone has enjoyed this piece, let me/her/someone know – and maybe I’ll pop up for a guest appearance again.  


my first trimester essentials

I wish I could start this post with a hip hip hooray! I'm feeling all better! But that would be the biggest lie ever. I threw up this morning out of nowhere and I've had Ritz crackers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So we aren't quite out of the woods yet, but I'm definitely feeling much better than I did a few weeks ago. It was probably the hardest and worst 1.5 months of my life and it felt like it would never end. I get antsy just thinking back on it. Moving on! 

We had our 11 week ultrasound this past Monday and it was the neatest thing I have ever experienced. I didn't realize that this early on, the babies would start to look like... well...humans. But they did! We saw arms and legs and a whole dance party going on in my uterus. I'm glad they're having a good time in there while I've lived on the bathroom floor :) their heartbeats were strong and they wiggled around at us. I cried a lot as always. It's scary when you hear "high risk pregnancy" with twins, of course, but I'm trying to look at our glass half full and focus on the good. Like how we get to go to the doctor's often, see our babies, and ask a million questions. (they love me there.) I can't say enough how much a compassionate team of women on our side is putting me at ease. Myself included! I apologize to Andrew about a hundred times a day for being a burden, being weak, for being constantly upset, for being so needy, for not cleaning the house. And god, that man just smiles, rubs my head, kisses my forehead and tells me I'm perfect. I made this quick little post of my top 5 first trimester staples, but if I'm being honest, his face should be #1 on that list! He's mine only though, so here's the other essentials that you can buy for yourself :)

actually, this is more of a nightly routine kinda list, but that's ok. My days are pretty much filled with one thing on my to do list: stay alive.

1. Start your evening with a nice warm bath featuring Epsom salt. I found waaay too much research good and bad online about baths while pregnant. So much information that it ruined a relaxing bath by worrying. So I talked to my doctor who said baths are great! just keep the water not super hot, make sure your skin doesn't turn red, and watch your heart rate. (sometimes I'll take an ice water in there with me to balance it out) but a hot bath with Epsom salt helps with achy bodies and anxiety (epsom salt has magnesium in it so it soaks into your skin)

2. after your bath, rub down with Cocoa Butter stretch mark lotion. This is my first pregnancy so I have no idea what's "normal" and what's more of a twin pregnancy trait. But ... At 12 weeks, my belly is already creepin' out. After every bath and shower, I slather globs and globs of this stuff on my stomach, boobs, and thighs. It smells pretty good (although if I'm being honest, smelling anything that often gets old. but if it helps keep my belly from looking like a road map, I'll deal with it)

3. Once you're settled into your pajamas or your husbands oversize t shirt, sip on some Natural Calm. THIS is a big one. Most people that read along on here know that this pregnancy has brought on super high anxiety for me. (I even thought I was having a panic attack and that's why we went to Urgent Care, where we found out we were pregnant to begin with! What a lovely story haha!) anyway I don't try and understand the science behind it, but I know I'm not alone. A girlfriend of mine absolutely saved my life when she recommended taking this from her own experience of anxiety during pregnancies. Most people don't realize they have a magnesium deficiency and it can easily trigger anxiety. A scoop of this magical powder in a glass of water every night helps me to calm the fuck down. you can feel it taking action and it's my number one recommendation to anyone, pregnant or not. 

4. While you sip your drink and slip into a relaxing coma, scrub down your legs with a body brush. I bought this months and months back to help with circulation and cellulite. It was great. But one of my top pregnancy symptoms was restless legs while I try to fall asleep. Truly one of the most aggravating feelings out there. Andrew scratches my legs with the brush before I go to sleep and I swear it does something to help keeping the blood moving and keeps my legs from freaking out all night.

5. By now, you should feel like a bowl of jello. So sink into bed and turn on an oil diffuser. We put one on our wedding registry and it has become a nightly necessity. A few drops of lavender oil help me to fall asleep and avoid a night of tossing and turning. 

who knows if I'll add anything to my essentials as we creep our way into the second trimester, but these are the key ingredients that are helping me to keep my head up, stay strong, and know that there is an end in site. and most importantly, I will get through this! Thanks you guys for reading along with the craziest journey ever! Twin pregnancy! 


a Valentine's day baby update

^ two half dozen roses, one from each baby, as my Valentine's day gift. Oh, and my husband got me a bag of Doritos too. Three perfect gifts that I won't put in order of importance 

happy day after Valentine's! I'm writing this from my bed where I'm grabbing mystery chocolates from a heart shaped box and just hoping for the best (the ones with the cherry in the middle? gross. So so gross) it's been a long couple of weeks of growing humans and so far all I can say is- I'm not sure how the population is so high. I don't think I could do this a second time. Granted, I've been reassured by several moms that have had single pregnancies and have also carried twins and pretty much all of them agree that twins are just ... harder.  I hate to sound like an even whiner victim, but I'm trying to tell myself that every time I feel myself starting to lose it or think there's something wrong with me. I posted a photo on my Instagram account recently acknowledging how hard this has been so far and the out pour of love from so many mamas from all over was overwhelmingly beautiful. It makes me feel less alone (and crazy) when other women are telling me that this is all normal. And yes, we are lucky. yes, this is a blessing. yes, this is beautiful. But fuck, I am allowed to tell the world how uncomfortable I am and let everyone out there know that pregnancy is not just sunshine, rainbows, and cute monthly bump photos. It's hard. And I love all of you for letting me scream that from the rooftops freely. 

Our babies are growing like crazy and it's soooo cool to read my pregnancy app every morning and see what's going on in there and what's on their agenda. I call my midwives way more often than I care to admit and ask the most lame questions that I need answered immediately: can I eat blue cheese crumbles? Can I sit in a hot bathtub? Can I take a men's multivitamin if I run out of my prenatals? Can my kids sense when I'm masturbating? (the answers in order: yes, yes, yes, LOL no) and luckily, they are all angels with senses of humor and seem to deal with crazy people like me on the regular.  But god aren't women just such bad asses?! I can't believe our bodies can do this! and t's no wonder I'm exhausted all the time. "Sorry I didn't get around to doing the laundry today, I'm growing eyeballs and toes for two people growing inside of me." has become my new go to joke and luckily, I live with a saint. Andrew has kept the house clean, fridge full, laundry done, rubs my legs, let's me cry all the time, sleeps on the couch, and runs every errand under the sun so that I can focus only on relaxing and staying alive over here. We're almost out of the "hard part" and I'm already seeing a bump growing, my skin looking better, and my mood is slowly improving. 
We went to dinner last night to celebrate our last Valentine's day where we can avoid a wait and sit at a bar.  We held hands and kissed and enjoyed the date that has been our first in a while. But about forty minutes later, I was ready for the check and to get my ass back home.  just writing this out has exhasusted me so it's time for my 3rd bowl of cinnamon toast crunch for the day and yet another nap. 


we're pregnant times two and holy crap what!?

ok, so I know in my last post I may have briefly at length written about my uncontrollable anxiety. I may have touched a little bit on how my emotions have been insane lately. I guess I left out a pretty big piece of the puzzle. We're pregnant! The story is kinda funny and kinda awful but it's ours to share and share we shall! 

a few weeks back Friday the 19th of January, we were on our way to a ski trip with family.  I had been looking forward to it since even before our wedding and couldn't wait to hit the slopes with my brand new husband and the fam. So we woke up that morning and started our drive up north when I just started feeling.... off. I feel nauseous and uncomfortable in the car and totally had an out of body experience of feeling weird. It scared the shit out of me. We stopped multiple times for me to get out of the car and just breath a little bit. I called my mom at one stop and her first question, as always, was "could you be pregnant?" i can't explain how much that woman has wanted a grand kid and so it's always her first solution to any problem. So at this point, my answer was "no, I think I'm just having some sort of anxiety attack? kinda? I don't know." so a few more Wendy's bathrooms later, we were finally at our hotel. I was dehydrated so after chugging several plastic cups of water and gumming down a banana, I felt just the slightest bit better. slightly. We're talkin' don't look at me, don't breathe toward me, don't ask how I'm feeling because it could shift at any second. We shared a room that night with my mom and step dad where I sucked on peppermints and cried myself to sleep. In the morning, I felt awful again. Tingly handles, hotter than hell, and nauseous again. I had looked forward to this trip for weeks and I wanted to experience skiing with Andrew who had never been so I gave it my best effort to suck it up, get my ski clothes on, and get in the car. Five minutes later, upon arrival at the ski lodge, I knew that skiing wasn't in my future that day. I walked out of the lodge by myself and threw up in some bushes while snowboarders walked by. It was a lovely site to see I'm sure! I finally made it to my car where I knew something was wrong. I told Andrew I cannot do this and I gotta get out of here. 

It made sense to us, being from out of town and having no clue what was wrong with me, to hit up the Wal Mart pharmacy down the street. But it took about 2 minutes of the pharmacist watching me sob for her to suggest we go to the urgent care down the road. SO! We get there and I poured my heart out to a doctor. I felt like I was losing my mind, couldn't breathe, I didn't want anyone to try and console me, and nothing made me feel better. The doctor was sweet enough and pretty much just summed up this was an anxiety attack of some kind and without much more discussion, she sent us across the street to Walgreens with a prescription in my hands for Prozac and Xanax. At this point, I guess I felt a little bit of relief knowing that magical pills would soon be in my hand, but even sitting in the Walgreens waiting area, I couldn't shake the feeling that something else was going on. So, while Andrew munched on a small box of cheerios and some Starbucks drink in the lobby chairs, I bought the cheapest pregnancy test Walgreens had to offer. And about 30 seconds later, our world was flipped on its ass because holy fuck babe we are pregnant! My first reaction was crying and laughing and crying because holy crap is this real!? And my soon after second reaction was yelling to the pharmacist "don't hand me a Xanax! Don't give me Prozac! We're pregnant!" we caused quite a scene. Well, I did. So big that the pharmacist came out from her little cubicle to give me a hug and say "congrats! You might wanna head back over to the urgent care" so we did. The doctor apologized for not immediately asking if there was any chance we were pregnant and we all three had a good, nervous, terrified laugh. I must have asked Andrew "what are you thinking right now?" 10 times in the 5 minute drive back to the ski lodge, where I couldn't find my mom soon enough. She was sitting at a table in the lodge when we pulled out our pregnancy test and changed her world forever. She screamed, she cried, she hugged us, and then she got back on the ski lift haha. I called my dad and a few others because I can't keep a secret to save my life (obviously) and that was that. We were pregnant. Married for a few months with a baby on the way, no clue how far along, and with a million questions that would remain unanswered until we got home. I owe the world to my baby cousin for paving the pregnancy path for me. She suggested I try out her OBGYN and saved me god only knows how much time and stress of finding someone I liked. So we made our first appointment for Tuesday the 23rd, where we learned 1. Yep, you guys are pregnant and 2. You're not very far along at all. So it didn't leave much room for excitement, more so just anxiety of hoping everything would be fine for the next few weeks. 

*this appointment was on Tuesday. It was that Friday night that we decided to not go on our trip. I know, I'm a big fat liar. While everything in my post was true, my anxiety was through the roof and it was an honest nightmare, it's safe to assume that my pregnancy hormones had a huge part in all of it*

So a few weeks went by of no more smoking, no more drinking, plenty of puking, lots of crying, and about 100 questions asked and answered in various mommy Facebook pages. Which leads us to today!!! The day started like I knew it would, me crying because i was terrified. Terrified to not hear a heartbeat, scared that the baby was a dream we made up, worried that somehow I wasn't doing enough to keep it alive for those two long weeks. Andrew assured me that no matter what, we were fine. We weren't trying, we're young, we will be OK no matter what. So we got to our appointment, laid down on the table, and stared up at the screen hoping to see anything resembling what I've googled as a healthy fetus floating around in there. And then we heard it- a heart beat! A tiny little heartbeat of a hummingbird that instantly made me cry in relief. We did it! So far, so good, and it's alive and my body did what it was supposed to do!

Everything looked good and we all three started giggling about the good news. And then the technician moved around her vagina probe and told us she had some kind of sad news. There was a second sac but it looked as though it didn't grow the way it was supposed to. The thoughts of two babies was way too much for my head to wrap around but it was a wild thought for a second. whoa. two. could you imagine? And then, with a little more navigating with that wand of hers, 5 seconds later, she says "oh wait. Hang on. yep! there it is, two! Two heartbeats. Do you see them?" 

and I did. I saw two little firecrackers up on the screen blinking like crazy and I couldn't stop laughing and haven't stop laughing since 11 am this morning when our lives changed x2. 
we are having twins. Twin babies. Two babies will be relying on us to keep them alive and love them forever and while it still doesn't feel real, it feels right. It feels like whoever is controlling this universe knew that Andrew and I would have enough love and life to give to not one baby, but two. We are so blessed and even now, several hours later it's hard to see my computer screen through the tears. We're scared, we're nervous, and we're gonna be broke forever haha. But holy shit- here we go!! babies!!!  


today, I'm 30!

I haven't posted in a while because while this blog is my baby and has been for many years, we've had a lot going on. But I owe it to myself to keep all of my thoughts straight so here I am writing now after a long hot shower with my hair twisted up in a white fluffy towel and my robe on with my fingers going a mile a minute and making countless errors because I feel like I have so much to get out and we'll see if it all makes sense in the end.

I wasn't supposed to be writing from my bed on my thirtieth birthday. We weren't supposed to be in Ohio at all. And this past Friday night, maybe 10 hours before we were supposed to be getting on a plane for Jamaica, I had the worst panic attack I've had since I can remember and through the tears I begged my husband to let us stay home. Anyone that knows Andrew knows that all he wants to do is make everyone around him happy and comfortable. I honestly get sick to my stomach thinking about how some men would have reacted in the same situation and how they would have dragged me onto the plane, kicking and screaming. I'm so lucky that I wasn't forced to feel guilty or stupid and while I watched him slowly unpack his suitcase back into his closet, I let out a sigh of relief that I knew I had made the right choice. I listened to my head, heart, and gut and I would like to think that my twenties helped teach me to do that. Listening to yourself is fucking scary because you can talk yourself in and out of just about any situation, but once I was able to take control of what was going to happen to me, I could exhale. I could start to feel my hands again, my heart rate was calming down, and I was absolutely over the moon knowing we would be staying home for my birthday. "Jamaica isn't going anywhere, babe" is about all Andrew said and I'm grateful. I don't think any amount of coaxing or breathing exercises would have got me on that plane, but it's just nice to know that my partner was in my corner. My corner in Ohio.

I bought that terribly delightful and tacky as hell treasure of a romper up there for my birthday night dinner in Jamaica. I thought a photo of us on my birthday with me wearing that would be the icing on the cake of a perfect birthday trip to send my twenties off in style. But that didn't happen. what did happen was Sunday night, while I was slowly putting away my clothes from my suitcase that I had forgotten about for two days, I saw my romper. Crunched up in a little ball next to my hair dryer and several bathing suits. I was so excited to buy this thing and now what? nothing? It will just never get to see its glory as being the perfect Jamaican thirtieth birthday outfit? It just didn't seem fair... to the romper. So while watching the Grammy's, I sat and did my makeup and hair and put on my birthday outfit and took this photo. Afterward, I changed right back out of it into my sweatpants and t shirt and washed my face. I kept that curly hair until about an hour ago. The romper went right to the back of my closet and who knows if it will ever see the light of day again but I'm glad I kept it and I'm even more glad that I trusted myself to have this photo in my bathroom, at home, where I wanted to be.

It's my birthday today. I'm thirty. Thirty freaking years old and I can't figure out yet if I totally feel it or if it will take a few, probably 12, months to set in. But I think I did my twenties proud and I'm happy to be here in the "Thirty Club" that I didn't know existed but now that I know about it, I'll be running for secretary. My twenties seemed to last forever and not long at all but I'm happy to report that most of the memories look like they were well written by someone with an excellent sense of humor. I learned that a vodka & tonic is my drink of choice, having more friends does not equal having more love in your life, and sometimes the best gifts that life can hand you are right in front of you. I look back on most of my twenties and I just gotta laugh- especially when I think back on my dating history. Oy. It leaves me with a pit in my stomach and being nearly embarrassed by most of it. So much drama and being jealous and making other's jealous and feeling bad and making other's feel bad. I'm glad it's all over. I look back on struggling to get through obstacles that other people thought were right for me and wishing I had stood up for myself more. I guess the point is I feel like I could fill a library with my wealth of life knowledge that my twenties gave me, and save the next girl some time, but I'm assuming most thirty year old women agree and let's face it- typing is exhausting. So one simple post here is enough to say hey twenties! You were harder than hell and so fucking amazing but it's time I moved on and left you with new girls ready to learn all of your lessons. If there's one thing I took away from this past decade, It's that I never once have spoken my mind or stood up for myself or for how I felt and regretted it. I should have done it even more. My mouth has gotten me in plenty of trouble, and I assume it's more annoying than inspiring for most people, but I tried to never be the one to sit back and not speak up and I'm proud to walk into my thirties standing tall with an even bigger mouth and opinion. Get ready!

My emotions are on high today and every few minutes, my phone is lighting up with another person telling me to have a happy birthday and that they love me. I'm bawling. I'm completely overwhelmed by it. I can't believe how lucky I am to have so many people choose to be in my life and stick around for the good and the bad. I love you all right back and thank you for being a part of my 20's.
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