happy one month Posey & Gibson

we made it! one month! the babies are home and growing everyday. i stressed and agonized about these first few days for months while pregnant. how would i do this on my own when Andrew was at work? how would i keep two babies alive? how do you split your time between two little humans staring up at you?  I would get actual sweaty palms and a pit in my stomach every time I talked about it. Since having them home, my anxiety has been minor. Just your average worries, concerns, and multiple checks for breathing throughout the day. The babies had their first pediatrician appointment last week and everything looked great so far for both of our babies. There was minor concern about Gibson's crooked little feet (his doctors think they will straighten up on their own and are just a result of being smushed up in the womb) and Posey's head is a little bit long so we need to try our best to keep her laying on the back of her head and not the sides. Two minor issues to work through so I am thrilled. 

i'm sure as time goes on, things will change. the babies will be more active and require more attention from me throughout the days and nights. but right now, in this moment, i am in full control of this. motherhood suits me and i bounce up to tend to their needs immediately. i talk to them and kiss on them both all day long and staring at them melts my heart. That first night that Gibson came home, I was terrified. I stared down at him and didn't feel a connection. I watched Andrew change his diaper and feed him and felt so out of my element. Maybe all moms feel like this with their first born and maybe we just don't talk about it enough. But it only took a few days (and the addition of one more baby) to get me feeling comfortable in this new lifetime role. Our house has never been cleaner. The laundry is done daily. I vacuum around their bassinets while they nap. Everyone is happy and content and I feel personally responsible for creating that feeling. Welcome home, baby Posey and Gibson. I love you both so much, it brings me to tears.