play nice, kids

does anyone else out there ever feel like they just need to just vent? i mean,  i try and keep this space pretty light and fluffy because … well, let's be  honest… we've all got our own shit going on and no one really wants to read about other people's life nonsense. but sometimes, today for an example, i just need to treat my keyboard like a best friend and just go nuts for a minute. 

being someone that rarely filters what i say or takes into account other people's reactions to what i'm saying, i get myself into trouble a lot (as i'm sure you can imagine) i don't apologize when i'm not sorry and i don't hold back if i really have something to say. i have what i like to call a chelsea handler sense of humor and a rosa parks sense of conviction. and you best believe if i ever come to you with an apology, i mean it. and it probably took me a lot of pride swallowing to muster up the ability to say it. 

 all that heavy sounding stuff aside, i never try to be an outwardly bad person. I feel like for the most part I try and do right by people and try to not ever intentionally hurt others. we all have our own stuff that we're going through and i don't know why others do the things they do. and it's none of my business. Cincinnati is a small community and most of us in my age range have known each other for years. Most of us didn't go to high school together or know each other in our formative years, but we became close during 21st birthdays and confiding in one another about our first serious relationships. 

we know each other pretty well.  lately, a lot of us maybe haven't been as nice to each other as we could possibly be. we're all guilty.  I say "we" because although I don't believe I am outwardly involved, I know that I leave my doubts with some on whether or not I am a good, honest and genuinely nice person. i also believe that you invite drama and bad shit into your life, so if i have some in mine, it's my own fault. while at the end of the day, i have a very loud "I don't care what anyone thinks about me" attitude, sometimes it does hurt to know that there are people out there that just …well, don't like me. whether it's someone telling me flat out that they don't, hearing it from someone else, anonymous comments or in other ways. it all hurts and pulls at my heart. and i can spend countless minutes, cigarettes and tears wondering why or what i can do differently in my own life to change their minds but at the end of the day, i have to simply accept that there will always be people out there that don't want to like me, will roll their eyes at the things i say, and say harsh things about me and about what i do in my life. 

i never know who in the hell reads this thing, or if it gets read by anyone at all, but i would just like to take a minute to send a cyber hug and kiss to all the good people in my life. the people that i know love me for who i am, the good and the bad. the people that listen to me when i'm sad and laugh with me when i'm happy. the people that know that my intentions are never to harm. I also would like to send a hug to the people that don't like me, too. i know that we all have our different outlooks on how life should be lead and what others are doing wrong. but as long as you can let others live their lives so that you can live yours, it will be ok. all of it. we weren't all meant to be the best of friends. and that's alright, ya know? there's no harm in that. i just needed to take a minute to sit down and put my thoughts into words. so long story post short, we don't all have to like each other. let's just try and be ok. 


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