12.08.2016

Let's talk sex

A few weeks ago, it seemed like a fun idea to start a thread of sex stories. what your thoughts are waiting to sleep with someone, your best and worst stories or just basically just any tid bits into your world of romance. (what? i'm nosey!) and man oh man, did i get some goooood ones. these are my favorites as of now and I want to do another installment sometime because I think it's all amazing and important. I put up an article last night on my Facebook page about Ohio and the scary new regulations that may be being put onto women's bodies. did you read that carefully? our B-O-D-I-E-S. mine. this thing? right here? that my soul is living in? yeah, the government wants a say in how i treat it. and when i put the post up, i didn't think much about anyone having anything possibly negative to say toward it. we all have the right to decide what we do with our our selves.  seemed like a pretty simple concept. nope. not the case. i woke up to over hundred comments, arguments, lashings from friends to friends, friends of mine that don't know each other and even strangers. calling each other and theoretical women names you would't believe. SO in light of that dark and gloomy post that just kind of made me sad, this one made my day. it's mostly fun and cute and just entertaining but i love each of these entries. i've known some of these people forever and some emailed me responses out of the blue. all names have been changed that requested so but these are all factual. enjoy!! 
(full disclosure: some of these are graphic. scroll with caution!)

"My first sexual experience was... underwhelming. I barely felt anything and it was lasted about 5 mins in missionary position. It was on new years eve (how cliche!) and my friends were all sleeping in the basement! Exciting!... Sike!  As I aged I got more experimental with my sexual escapades. One of the sexual experiences that stands out was an ex of mine and I were home alone at his parents house right before or after Christmas.  I was teasing him by sucking in his fingers and a few other harmless acts and he eventually got so fed up he grabbed my hand and yanked me into the kitchen, ripped off all of my clothes and fucked me roughly on the floor while my head was bagging the back door. then threw me on the kitchen counter and continued. For fuck sake that was glorious!!.. too bad he wasn't. Ha!"
- Ali, 29



"giving yourself X amount of time before you sleep with someone is dumb. i will never understand it. if you are into having sex with someone and it's mutual and consensual what are you waiting for? and i know there is a fear of slut-shaming and getting a bad reputation for women, but i feel like that isn't really a thing anymore and it seems like you're just starting the relationship out (even if the relationship is just a one night stand) with silly games and nonsensical rules. now if you are a religious person who believes in saving yourself until marriage or were traumatically affected by something and dont feel ready then that is a different situation. you should do whatever your heart tells you. but waiting 3 dates because society has said those 96 hours makes you not a slut is just absurd."
-Matt, 30



"I am 26 years old and I am a virgin. There are a few different things that have played a part in my decision. I grew up in church and was thought to respect myself. It was not pushed as a subject but was brought up in my teenage years. But probably the biggest impact came from growing up without a father. It was extremely hard on me to watch my dad get in a car and drive away when I was 7. I knew how much my mom struggled to keep food on our table and buy acceptable clothes for school. So as a teenager I just couldn't trust a man enough to get that close to them. And i didn't even want there to be a chance of me having a baby that wouldn't have a living father. Dating as an adult is extremely hard. I get the question " if you like me why don't you want me?" too often. It is not that I don't want to have sex. (I am excited for the day I can). I want it to be more than a fun game we play when we are bored. I want it to mean something. Actually make love. Not Fuck. I have not pledged to wait until marriage. I will wait until the right moment. Although I find it incredibly romantic to lose my virginity on my wedding night. I know 99% of people think it's crazy but I think it takes so much heartache and drama out of a person's life. If people would respect the act more we would have less kids in foster care and less abortion and less people living on welfare."
- Sarah, 26




 I first found out that my mother lost her virginity from a sexual assault when I was 12. I decided at that time, that I did not want to "give" my virginity to anyone. I didn't want to "share" it, I didn't want to give that part of my to anyone. Instead, I wanted it to be about me and only me. I wanted to do what was fun and felt good for me, not an awkward disappointing experience with a boyfriend, I didn't want it to be an emotional experience. I had fooled around with both guys and girls, but never gone "all the way." Until the last day of freshman year, when I met up with my crush, the captain of the water polo team, he was a senior and graduating the next day. We ended up having a threesome with my best girlfriend, my crush and I! It was fun, it was weird, and it was exactly the way I wanted it to happen. There was whip cream, and alcohol, and overall it was an incredibly fun and safe experience for me. 
I only saw him a few more times after that, but my best friend and I laughed about the experience for the next 4 years. After that I enjoyed being guys "first." I loved sex, was confident and enjoyed learning and teaching virgins the ways to make me feel good. I had a rule though, it was always about me, and my pleasure, and I taught many a boyfriend how to make a woman feel good. I am still friends with many of them, and I am happy to have been part of their sexual learnings.
- Lily, 26



"if i had just never found anyone willing to have sex with me by now, i would no question about it, zero hesitation, bring in some professional help. i would also imagine i could afford a pretty high end call girl if i had just saved all the money i've spent on getting laid in my life."
- Aaron, 36



"Sex is a very natural thing and some people feel like they have to wait. It's not always right but I usually listen to my body."
-Kayla, 26



 "if you're still with the person that you lost your virginity to, it sounds like some magical fucking genitals! i lost my virginity to a girl in my neighborhood in the backseat of a beat up old camaro we had stolen at 3am on a july night when i was 13 years old. we continued to hang out and be friends but it was never anything serious. i would be lying if i said from time to time i didnt check in on her fb to see how she looks and what shes up to, but for some reason i never friend her. i feel that experimentation is vital to living your best sexual life, and being with only one person ever just doesnt work at its core for me."
- J, 28



"I'm almost 29 and have only had sex with two people. Errrr, well 3 if you count a threesome I had in my first serious relationship. I love that with my generation talking about sex is no longer taboo, but a messed up part now that everyone is SO open to discussing it, is that for a while I was actually a bit embarrassed to say my "number" to my friends that would ask. Not because I felt bad, but because their reaction was typically shocked or​ somehow they had a judgmental tone. It's not because of anything religious or lack of opportunity. It's solely because I don't like having sex with people I'm not madly in love with. Will that attitude every change? Who knows. I love that I've never had bad sex, not once. (Well maybe the when I lost my virginity staring at a Blink 182 poster wondering if this was all the fuss was about because I was 15 and we were both virgins.) I love that me wanting to go to a sex shop, have a threesome, role play, etc. was never awkward or embarrassing to explore because I have always been comfortable and open with my person. . I've never had to experience an "Ugh get the hell out of my bedroom" or "Shit, now I gotta hurry and catch an Uber" moment. Not to knock anyone's choices. I'm sure there is something sexy and empowering about having a hot steamy meaningless one night stand, or not having to be invested in the other person emotionally. I'm all about living your life how you want. And when someone says they've only been with a handful or less of people, don't feel pity. It doesn't mean they're having boring vanilla sex, lack experience, or that their head will explode if your number is 104!"
 -Cole, 29



"I feel like as a guy a problem is the pressure to have sex when it doesn't feel right. i know that sounds bitchy and insecure and i do not mean it in a rape/forced sex kind of way, i mean it in the not in the mood/i have a headache kind of way. i have a very high sex drive (1-2 x day is ideal) and sometimes i feel like i am still not fulfilling my duties if i want to take a night off because I'm too high, too tired, or just not that into it right now. it makes me feel as if i am telling my partner she is not good enough and even though we both know that isn't the case it can lead to a fair bit of anxiety for me."
-Brandon, 32



"Sex on the first date is fine if it's mutual and everyone is into it. What are you waiting for? there is a down side to this though... the no second date. nothing will rattle your sexual confidence like having a good date that leads to sex and then just never hearing from that person again. its not the rejection of you as a person that stings as much as the feeling of "she liked me enough to have sex with me but did not enjoy the sex with me so much that she isnt even willing to give it another go" and that stings fortunately for me it has only been a rare occurrence haha."
-Sam, 34



"About 5 years ago I met my husband but we did not meet under normal circumstances. According to our family we met at a party through friends which isn't actually too far from the truth.  But actually, we met at a local BDSM munch (this is where people gather to eat at a restaurant) and party. We talked a little bit at the munch and party where my husband, being new to the scene, mainly just wandered around and mingled with other party goers while I dove right in to a typical night at a BDSM party. We hit it off really well and I did something that I never thought that I would do...I gave him my number. Within a year after our meeting each other we were happily married and living in our own apartment. When we first started our relationship, we knew that we would never be your typical couple and after a few years of marriage we discussed opening up our relationship. I know a lot of people don't understand the idea of allowing others into your relationship if you are completely happy with your partner and I must say that our life is not for everyone. It takes a lot of time, honesty, trust, and communication on all parties involved. After many long conversations we decided on our sets of rules and standards for our relationship and how we would adapt if and when either or both of us found a significant other. Ten months ago, my husband met Alicia and they have been dating ever since and I could not be happier. There are certain aspects of a relationship that Alicia can provide my husband that I am incapable of and I enjoy seeing him happy. We are still extremely active in our relationship with each other but my husband also has an active relationship with Alicia including going out and spending time at her place. Sometime we even go out all together. I couldn't imagine our life any other way!"
- Renee, 29



"My friend, Meyers, and I had always been into each other. One of those things where we always liked each other but at different times in our lives. But every once in a while we would get a little too drunk and a lot too friendly. I remember it was an unusually cold night and a group of us were out celebrating a friend's birthday. After a few hours of drinking, playing pool, and obnoxiously dancing, my best friend offered to take me to Meyers party. I don't remember the drive there but after giving me the quick tour of his house and introducing me to a few of his friends, we headed up to his room.
After giving my vagina the once over with a trusty St. Eves feminine wipe, I made my way to his bedroom. As I walked into the room, I was pushed up against the wall as Meyers kissed me. Kissed me so passionately and with such conviction. As we drunkenly stripped of our clothing we fell onto his bed. Meyers immediately pulled my pants off and immersed himself in between my legs. I remember his room was so cold but my body felt on fire.  I was overwhelmed with urgency and I grabbed his head and pushed his face further into me.  I was so hot and wet. Too wet. Meyers noticed something wasn't right and came up for air. He turned on the light and we both screamed in terror. I was panicking! "Did I start my period? Wtf? I'm not supposed to start for another week! WTF!?!!"  Meyers yelled out, "MY NOSE IS BLEEDING!!!"  I've never been so relieved. Jesus Christ. Meyers was a gentleman and brought me a towel; he cleaned my downstairs area and washed his face.  As drunk as we both were we went back at it. He kissed me, and began making out with me. "He was always my favorite person to make out with."  Oh no. NO! Something wasn't right. If you're thinking to yourself this embarrassing scene couldn't play out twice in one night, think again. Meyers got another nose bleed and this time it was all over our faces. It was a disgusting mix of both of our saliva and blood, old and new.  At this point the buzz had worn off, both of us were uncomfortably grossed out by what just happened. We made small talk and joked around about other things. After snoozing for a few hours Meyers took me to my car. We went our separate ways.  We remain friends to this day, and each time I see him out I always smile and think about our drunken night together."
- Jessica, 24


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