baby blueprints & a baby update

It's been a wild couple of weeks lately and this blog kinda took a backseat to just about everything. have you missed me!? Don't answer that. But I needed to take some time to handle some heavy stuff that was going on in our home with our babies. If you follow along at all through other social media sites, you have a good idea of what I'm referring to. As of last Thursday, we were told by our doctor that it looked like our baby A had clubbed feet and that our baby B had a cleft lip. She told us that she wanted us to go see a specialist who would be able to tell us for sure and I instantly lost it. I laid back on the table while she and Andrew both tried to calm me down and relieve me from my panic. And while telling us this and trying to keep me calm, my doctor must have repeated five times “We just can’t get a good angle of them, we can’t tell, this is not definite, don’t start panicking". It didn't help. I still panicked. While I know these are both minor inconveniences in the grand scheme of life and pregnancy, it was still scary and totally intimidating and caught me completely off guard. It made me feel more guilt and disappointment in myself than I ever knew possible. I thought I screwed them up and I thought I caused these issues. 

The first day was definitely the hardest and it was a long six days of trying to be optimistic and wait for our doctor's appointment. The night before going, I absolutely broke down and was basically dragged to the specialist the next morning where we would find out what exactly was going on in there. We arrived 15 minutes early as instructed and after an hour of taking nearly 200 ultrasound photos, trying to focus on breathing and squeezing all of the life out of Andrew’s hand, our doctor told us the best news possible. Not only did baby B’s mouth look totally fine and cleft lip free, but baby A’s little feet weren’t of much concern either. At this point they’re so small and wiggly that they can’t tell much on the foot and the baby could be born perfectly “normal” or need a brace of some kind. Pfff that's nothing. I can take that no problem! I sat on the table and cried the most relieved tears of my life. We were able to see our babies sucking on their hands, they had each grown 3 ounces in just six days, and they even went from being head down in the lower right section of my belly to facing each other completely flipped around with their heads kinda under my belly button. Their hearts, brains, and spines looked good and we couldn’t be more thankful that the last few days are over. 

I never knew I could love and worry about someone (or two someones) so much without knowing them. I've never cared about anything so much in my life and now, I worry about them all day every day. I wish they could just shoot me a text from in there and tell me "hey! we're fine You don't need to feel so guilty if you want to eat Taco Bell!". We're at nearly 23 weeks and while I'm feeling good most of the time, I'm ready for them to be earth side. I'm ready to see them and hold them and smell them (Oh my goddddd I can not wait to smell them) and look back on this pregnancy as a challenge that I'll never have to face again. 

Especially with twins, they tend to come earlier than expected. So even at 23 weeks, that doesn't necessarily mean they'll be waiting 17 more weeks to meet us. It could be sooner and we're trying our bet to get as prepared as possible and that project started with the nursery. I wanted that room done as soon as possible so I could just kind of check it off of my mental list of things to do (that list also includes clean behind refrigerator, vacuum all air vents, and figure out how to give a cat a bath) But first up, the nursery! Every few days, it comes together just a little bit more. It is now filled with cribs and baby books, and more Goodwill onesies than I knew existed. I wanted to keep it pretty simple, soothing, and calm in there with not a long going on (before our kids take it over and make a mess of it) 

So a few months back, a friend of mine tagged me to show me an Etsy shop called Baby Blueprint. I'm so glad she did because it introduced me to what would soon be my favorite piece in our twin's room. A print from one of their ultrasounds (Specifically, my favorite print of them. They're still tiny but they're just starting to look like babies and they still fit in one frame. We called them our water babies. Do you remember those dolls?!? They're too big now to fit in one photo and it's totally bittersweet. Isn't that crazy!?) The prints come in a variety of sizes and colors, but a simple black one was right up my alley and it turned out so very perfect, I cried when Andrew brought it home. No seriously. I had been in a bad mood from bleeding gums and a sore lower back and he walked in with a big smirk on his face and said "I got something that will cheer you right up" I said "I doubt it. I'm not comfy today." and then he pulled out our twin's first framed photo together and I smiled ear to ear. I'm so excited to keep it in our nursery and then move it to our photo gallery wall once they're older. Thank you so much Baby Blueprint for making this mama's day, week, and month. We love it so much!  
this post is sponsored by Baby Blueprint

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