8.04.2015

You don't got mail: a post on dating … or not.

A post titled solely because Meg Ryan movies ruined my idea of how finding someone was supposed to go. And while we're at it, The Disney princesses gave me false hope on how hair should look in water, but that's a rant for another day. 

Boyfriends and girlfriends: by the time you're 27, like me, you've probably had a few. a few of both, in my case but again that's a story for another post. i have so many posts coming up! ha! with every new relationship comes a new chance to start over. to fix the things you messed up last time around. to know when to speak your mind and to know when to shut the hell up because is this really worth fighting about that they didn't put the toilet seat down?  and as fun as all of those first kiss butterflies are, dating is exhauuuusting, am i right? peeing with the faucet running, keeping your legs at least moderately shaved and trying not to talk with your mouth full of food are all things that come along with not knowing someone well. and as firm of an advocate as i am for the whole I AM WHO I AM AND YOU'LL TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT attitude, sometimes you gotta act like a lady i guess. so there ya go. dating is a pain. and if you have a mom like mine, that lovingly reminds you that dog of yours doesn't suffice as a grandchild substitute, it can be overwhelming. oh, and the occasional "you aren't getting an younger"... those are fun, too. yay!

that being said, i'm a terrible dater. and no one can be naive enough to think that we aren't all reading from the same dating script. i find myself saying the same things to the same people about the same topics. what i do for a living, where i'm from, how does blogging work, how cool it is that i go by two first names, etc. and you can't even get mad about it. i mean, what other way is there to begin all of this nonsense? i know you don't really need to know what my favorite food is, but hey, i appreciate the interest.



it's ice cream.




so, as the title suggest, years worth of watching too many RomComs that show a boy and a girl meeting somewhere at random can leave ya feeling like you just aren't going to the right places everyday. why doesn't my butcher look like the one on tv? how come my best friend doesn't have a friend that has a cousin that would totally love me? where's my meet cute?! i don't know why i just yelled. again, the damn RomComs. all that to be said, if you don't meet them online, at work or through friends (not my friends, apparently) where in the hell do you meet them? I'll tell ya where: The unspeakable places. The bars, the nightclubs, those dark holes in the walls that smell like whiskey and poor choices. The places that, when asked "so where did you two meet?" You would lie and say the library. because no one is proud to say they met in a place where the floors were sticky and the cups were made of plastic. Or god forbid, the INTERNET.  oh the faces you'll get when you tell someone you met your partner on the internet. it's a hoot. you might as well say you met in prison.

see, by the time most of us hit our mid to late twenties, we probably have a rhythm of how we are doing our lives. We know where we like to get our coffee and which grocery stores have the shortest lines on a tuesday afternoon. and when your life is set up with a continuous flow, where do you break your patterns in order to meet new people?  When do you start changing yourself to find your Tom Hanks (or your Meg. I don't judge) For example, I primarily go to the same 6-10 places in the city over and over. The same bars, restaurants, thrift stores and hang outs. Most of which are either A. ran over by 21 year olds learning how to properly order whiskey sodas or B. Filled with hot, young married couples with their baby-filled strollers. Because 27 is terrifically weird, you guys. i love it and hate it all at the same time. Half of my friends are on their second kid and the other half are on their second drink. And it's not to say I don't want a stroller one day... I do... Probably... Maybe... But first comes love or something and that shit is harrrrrd to find out there. Because trust me, I've made a few extra laps around the produce aisle when I've seen a handsome boy pushing a cart without a wedding ring on. And it's never as romantic as it looks in the movies. I look crazy and maybe like I'm from out of town or as though I've never seen spinach in real life before. So my question is- where are all those damn fish in the sea everyone keeps talking about? Or am I just up on the beach somewhere? I can't be alone on this. Fist Bumps to all you fellow single ladies out there. just keep making your grocery aisle rounds. and maybe throw on some mascara, if you're feelin' sassy! 

JD. single and OUT.
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