life Aha moments

it's been a long couple of weeks of nothing much, lately. with a license back in my hand it feels good to have the freedom to live my life again. go where i want to go and get stuck in awful traffic and pay too much for gas and sing at the top of my lungs to christina perri on my pandora. life is good. i've been trying something new lately where i let things go a lot faster. those close to me might think i'm coming off like i'm not caring when really i'm just allowing myself to not worry. i know for a fact this worry wrinkle between my eyes is due to years of over analyzing every choice i've made and how every decision will change my life. it's finally time to knock that off! 
i've learned in past relationships that over analyzing will only ruin things. i just started seeing a new guy and i've made a choice to let whatever happens, happen. enjoy each day. not let all of the little shit matter as much. stop worrying about the future so much because i'm wasting the good days. i'm an instant gratification type person (blame that on why i never finished college and why i burn my tongue on too hot of coffee) and i don't need to be in a relationship where all i'm concerned about is the long time future. i know from past experience that's where most of my relationships go wrong. i over analyze what things will be like 20 years from now when the now should be what's important. i also need to bend a little more. try and see other people's ways of doing things. i was joking around with my x a few days ago about how a few years back, we hosted a thanksgiving for our families and we were cleaning the apartment before people got there. i didn't like the way he was vacuuming the carpet and i actually sat on the floor next to the vacuum cleaner and started crying because it wasn't being done the way that i wanted it.  while telling the story, i said to him "i should have just accepted that we didn't vacuum the same way and i shouldn't have gotten mad at you for that. i just need to find someone that vacuums the same way i do" he resounded with "maybe you just need to buy a new vacuum" so take that for what it's worth which probably isn't a whole hell of a lot.  

other aha moments as of recently that deserve to be noted:

one of my biggest fears in life is locking myself out of my apartment barefoot
there is a sonic about 40 minutes north of my house but the cherry limeade is worth it
houseplants make everything better, especially when they require water every 7 days
being a grown up is weird and i would prefer to be 17 forever
breakfast food is the least sexy but most delicious
i know more about my bar regulars than i know about most of my girlfriends from high school
nothing will knock you down a peg quite like leaving a guys house at 7 am in last nights party dress 
i would rather break a bone than get a bug bite on my pinky toe
candles make the best free night lights 
smacking a pickle jar with a spoon in order for it to open is the one constant in my life 

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