masturbating was never something we really openly talked about in my house growing up, but it wasn't really something to be ashamed about either. It was just never mentioned, probably like most houses I guess. I'm an only child and I probably saved my very young parents from several uncomfortable conversations by just not asking questions. Like I said above, I had noooo idea what I was doing the first time I masturbated, but I knew it felt good and I wondered if anyone else knew about it. I remember it like it was yesterday, being maybe 13 or 14 and leaving the doctor's office after my annual physical for cheerleader tryouts. I was sitting in the backseat of my mom's car and I had a fresh pamphlet in my hands filled with giant medical words and when I read "What is masturbating?" as one of the questions listed, I was half relieved that I was normal and half disappointed that I wasn't discovering it first. Just like how you send coupon codes to your girlfriends for Target, I wanted to tell all of my friends about this amazing discovery! But alas, this has been around for ages.
the lack of participation in my post only pushed me harder into wanting to write it. Why don't we talk about this? Why is it weird? Why does it seem more normal to hear about younger kids being sexually active than knowing what they might be doing in the bathroom by themselves? Someone on my Facebook post even went as far as to say that this is a "TMI" topic and I could feel my brow furrowing. Nope. Jamie Dawn likes information. Let's dive right in!
Most of my feedback was pretty normal: "I started when I was around 13 and ... I don't know... I do it when I'm bored" and I even received one email from a woman, nearly 30, that has never masturbated in her life. I had to read that twice. Girrrl! But I also got some responses that were sad, shocking, and most of all- relatable. Women that were told as children that they shouldn't do it because it's gross, wrong, sinful, dirty, and even considered raping themselves. Most of the people with the worst memories from masturbating as kids don't want anything to do with it now. They were caught by an older sibling or babysitter and were completely embarrassed and made to feel bad about it. Some started as early as 3 years old (I would have never left my nursery) One girl went as far as to say that she was closely monitored growing up to make sure she wasn't doing it and that as a teenager, her parents kept a baby monitor in her room to make sure she wasn't "misbehaving" (which, to me, sounds even more gross and perverted than the actual act itself, right?) And on the opposite end of the spectrum, I received messages from several moms (of both little boys and little girls) that said they simply tell their kids to go to their room when they feel the need to do that and -most importantly- don't let anyone else do it to you! (yes. Slow claps. Good mom awards all around!)
The whole topic made me almost sad to write about. I either got shocking feedback that made my heart hurt for the people telling it, or lots of giggling and laughing. But, it's important. It won't be long until I have my own little horny kids running around and I dare anyone to make them feel anything negative regarding their sexual health. If kids are taught at a young age that they can make themselves feel good, it might just keep one less kid away from having sex too young with another person. If one teenage girl is told that she is 100% normal, it could keep her from feeling like she is "gross and wrong". I'm lucky enough as an adult to have a family that keeps things pretty open and light hearted when it comes to sex and everything about it. There's been a vibrator in my nightstand for over 10 years. (Check out Hustler Hollywood if you're local to Cincinnati. They have some goodies!) and I appreciate the women that jumped on board to participate in this conversation! This won't be the last time we talk about this here, so stay tuned!
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