In less than a week, I'll be in my last year of my glorious 20's. I'm speaking with no experience what so ever, but I have a feeling 29 is going to be a bigger pill to swallow than 30 will be. I'm actually looking forward to 30. truth be told, I think I'll be in my prime around 43, but we'll talk about that another time. the last 9 years brought so much good and bad and confusion and excitement and lots and lots of soul searching. (said every 29-year-old everrrr, right?) When I was in high school, it was embarrassingly important for me to be popular and be friends with everyone and be able to wave to anyone in the hallway. I was a cheerleader, I was in the choir and I was on the student council (I'll blame my busy extracurricular activities list for my C average grades. But oh well, I was all over the yearbook and at the time, that's all I gave a shit about. Priorities.) So at my ripe old age, I've learned a thing or two about friendships. 10 years ago, I absolutely needed to be liked by everyone. Is that an only child thing? Did my dad not hug me enough? Did I watch too many movies? Hell, I don't know. But nowwww, I've trimmed the fat quite a bit on relationships with friends that seemed forced and not as enjoyable anymore. That sounds harsh, but hear me out.
I had friends from high school and my early twenties that were my entire life. We went to all the parties and hung out all summer and danced on bars. But as the years went by, we all took a different path. They had different views on things that I couldn't understand, I had a schedule that required me to work nights and weekends, and we just didn't have enough in common anymore. It's totally sad and I wish them the best, but that's life I suppose. and now, I would hug them at the grocery store but I wouldn't call them if I had a flat tire. Does that make sense? My thoughts and interests and life didn't match up with theirs and the older I get, the more I realized I needed a way to make new friends with similar likes and lives as mine. Now don't get me wrong, there are still girls that I sat next to in middle school and still text daily. (yes, Maria, I'm referring to you!) But I don't see them as much as I would love to. She doesn't live close enough to go to happy hour or just meet up to bitch and brag about life events. Our schedules conflict. And even though I know she'll be giving a speech at my wedding someday, it's become apparent recently that it's high time to find ways to make new girlfriends in my late 20's. here's are some places and plans on how to make that happen:
I had friends from high school and my early twenties that were my entire life. We went to all the parties and hung out all summer and danced on bars. But as the years went by, we all took a different path. They had different views on things that I couldn't understand, I had a schedule that required me to work nights and weekends, and we just didn't have enough in common anymore. It's totally sad and I wish them the best, but that's life I suppose. and now, I would hug them at the grocery store but I wouldn't call them if I had a flat tire. Does that make sense? My thoughts and interests and life didn't match up with theirs and the older I get, the more I realized I needed a way to make new friends with similar likes and lives as mine. Now don't get me wrong, there are still girls that I sat next to in middle school and still text daily. (yes, Maria, I'm referring to you!) But I don't see them as much as I would love to. She doesn't live close enough to go to happy hour or just meet up to bitch and brag about life events. Our schedules conflict. And even though I know she'll be giving a speech at my wedding someday, it's become apparent recently that it's high time to find ways to make new girlfriends in my late 20's. here's are some places and plans on how to make that happen:
1. go to places that you love. Alone. Chances are, there's someone else there alone, too.
Places include:
dog park (plus, your pups can play together)
regular park
restaurants/bars (sit at the bar and eat your meal. talk to the bartender)
museum
art museum
thrift store
Sunday morning flea market
farmers market
concerts
this is just my list of suggestion because these are the things I love to do, with someone or alone. you could add sporting events, the gym, the grocery store. whatever! two solos make a duo!! (yes, I just came up with that)
2. host an event
I've done a few of these and they are sooo much fun and only mildly awkward at first. In the digital age, there are so many girls around the city that I follow on Instagram or their blogs but I don't actually know them. So what do I do? I host a party and invite them all! I have literally messaged girls and said "hi! you don't really know me, but I'm hosting a party for girls around the city that seem to be awesome. Would you like to come?" and we have a ball.
3. join a class.
around here we have lots of sushi, wine, candy making parties, dance classes, book clubs, and brewery tour events. It's scary, I know. But go solo. You'll be fiiiine!
4. get to know your coworkers.
you see them every day and you've probably found some common ground. hit up a happy hour after work and enjoy getting to know them outside of the office!
5. make your family your friends.
some of my best lady friends are actually relatives. i try and see my cousin a few times a month for thrifting and lunch, plus it allows me to see my niece and nephew. we both love to go to the thrift store and she has to love me no matter what, so it's a win-win for me!
Obviously, there are plenty of ways to meet friends, but here's just a starting point of how to get out there and meet people! good luck out there!
loved this article! I turned 29 in October and good Lord, it is hard to face the fact that I may need to find new friends and new ways of making them. I enjoy people, but I think part of getting older is realizing that less is more when it comes to relationships. It's a weird age and it just gets weirder. I'm sure I'll be spending my thirtieth in a weird emotional state of sitting in my tub fully clothed drinking a glass of wine pondering all I didn't accomplish while texting my sister one moment, and then spending the next telling myself I still have plenty of time and not to stress. Ugh. Adulting is hard. Anyways, loved this article. Totally relatable.
ReplyDeleteyes! i feel the same way! in the past few weeks ive gone from "mannn i should have done things safer, i would have more to show for my life" and then the next minute i think "damn, i've done so much crazy stuff! it's been a while ride!"
Delete