knowing when to stfu

this post is dedicated to anyone that has started a dialogue with 

"i'm sorry, but i just have to say this" or "i'm not trying to upset you, but" 

and this isn't in reference to when you ask someone if they like your new bangs or why they didn't call you for a second date, ok?

trust me when i say i try my hardest to keep this space light. i like to write about tacos and dogs and how to keep plants alive. nothing too heavy or terrible because- let's face it- we've all got our own demons going on and who really wants to sit and read about someone else's issues and hard times. with that said, this post will someday lead into a harder one. one that will probaby take me years to muster up the courage to actually make live, but this is what i've got for now. the past few weeks have been some of the hardest in my life and probably will trump all other bad weeks forever. and as much of an outlet as having a blog is, sometimes you have to make an executive choice to keep things off of the internet for your sake or for others. i forget sometimes that other people besides myself reads this thing and it's never my intention to offend, upset or start any sort of online controversy especially with choices i make or support. except i did see an article recently about how pickles were disgusting and i swear to god, if anyone brings that kind of negativity into this space- we're going to have problems. pickles are perfect. 

but for real, shit has suuuucked lately. i've been the luckiest lady on the planet to have the best of friends around to listen to me cry, play with my hair and tell me that everything is going to work out. people that have held my hand and told me they support me no matter what and they would stand by any and all choices i make for myself. because that's what you do. when someone you love is faced with a choice that effects only her, you support whatever answer she picks for herself. you keep your opinions in your head unless you're asked for them. you type out the text that says how you don't agree with her and then you DELETE it. basically? You shut the fuck up. 

the past few weeks haven't even felt real in terms of their heavy nature. Most of my life choices consist of which show i want to re-watch on Netflix for the 200th time or what color bra i want to wear that day. these barely quality as life choices. they barely even warrant being called choices at all. in fact, they aren't anything. but for nearly a month, i missed those stupid little pieces that made up my life and reflected how difficult it was, which on a scale of 1-10 was a huge zero. and for that time, i missed that my life was pretty damn cushy and nothing was really all that terrible or life altering... ever. Netflix and bra colors didn't matter but they were all i had and i was beyond fine with it. but in one day, that changed and i lost the ability to laugh at my shows and didn't have the energy to even reach for a bra.i could barely find the strength to get up and go to work. and while this was the first time in my life that a hard decision had ever came my way, i made it. and those closest to me, the people that love me the most, were made aware of these choices and how i decided to handle them. I told people what was happening in my life and i told them how i had chosen to handle it. and while i had hoped and expected for anyone to simply respond with positivity and love, that wasn't the case. people still gave their opinions and hate filled thoughts and voiced what they felt, no matter how much they knew it was going to hurt the one hearing it. i'm here to just give a small, marble size piece of advice. when someone comes to you and tells you they made a decision for their life, and it in no way affects you, and you know that what you're about to text or say is going to hurt... please... shut the fuck up. if what you're about to say isn't positive and loving and encouraging and will only cause feelings of sadness, disapproval or shame to someone...seriously, shut the fuck up. if someone tells you that they thought long and hard about what was in front of them and after much thought, they made their choice and you still don't agree with it but you still love them and don't want to add to their already drained head and heart... for real, shut the fuck up. love people around you. support them when they need you. let them know they're safe to come to you when they need a hug and a non-judging ear. i hope that for any hard choices you have to make in your life, you have people around you that support you blindly and can sense the times that its best to just shut up and be there.