25

i usually like to keep my posts light and fluffy. i mean, we all got problems am i right?? but i have to take this time to admit that this birthday was hard. like... abnormally hard. the kind where you step back and look at what you have accomplished "so far" and you pay tribute to every bad decision you have made that has helped you get where you are... or where you aren't, rather. my mom said that 25 hit her like a ton of bricks. it was a loud wakeup call that she was half way to 50 and there were plenty of things she hadn't accomplished yet and at 25, my mama had a 3 year old and a husband so i already feel "behind" in comparison. 

yesterday was my actual birthday and for about 15 minutes i had a complete breakdown. crying and carrying on. i cried because i'm not understanding one of my classes,  i'm not working at a job that i'm proud of,  i'm not married, my hair wasn't working.. basically all things worth crying about. it took my boyfriend- my gift from god- to explain to me that i am exactly where i'm suppose to be in life. because had any of my life choices been done differently, it may not have brought us together. i swear that kid jumps through so many hoops to keep me happy. but he's right. how dare i complain about what i am or what i have. i'm healthy, in love and working my butt off to be a better jamie dawn. 

i look back today and i'm embarrassed about how i acted. luckily, i pulled it together in time for an amazing dinner and movie date with my love. and tonight, i had dinner with my mom and my step dad. this birthday shaped up to be amazing and i couldn't have asked for more loving friends and family. i'm ready for you, 25. you don't scare me a bit.